Fundamentals #4 – How to think positively all the time
“Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will !” – Unknown
Why is it so easy to think negatively ?
Why don’t we wake up every morning with a great positive thought ?
Is that something we can control ? – ABSOLUTELY.
When i found out that I am responsible and in full control of my emotion and thought, i became self conscious.
I’ll recommend a couple of books that helped me a lot here. The way to start changing goes through the knowledge acquisition process and the few bucks you’ll invest on books will pay off forever
Negative thoughts can be easily erased by doing meditation on a regular basis – See my post on How to meditate for guidance.
Negative thinking is related to this famous vision of the glass half empty or half full.
I have personally met several very negative people. In every circumstances I was feeling that nothing can go well when i was talking to them. And this is an awful way of living that leads nowhere except to the place you don’t wanna go.
There are a thousands of books talking about this topic.
Among those I read, I really had a breakthrough with Positive Thinking: Easy self help guide: How to stop negative thoughts, negative self-talk, and reduce stress using the power of positive thinking, happiness, affirmations, and positive psychology
It’s very easy to read and provide all the steps that help building a positive Halo that helps having a better life in all the areas !
In my perspective, what helped me to change and to understand how i could switch from a negative thinking to a positive thinking was the following:
Become self conscious
The first think is to be ‘aware’ that you think negatively.
You have noticed how people are gathering around what we call ‘Leaders’ ? Those people who are confident, motivated and POSITIVE ?
People don’t like negative a person so, if you are not well surrounded, maybe the way you think is not positive enough.
Trust the signs and the comments other people are doing to you on the way you’re thinking.
Being negative is less likely to bring you something positive in your life than being positive.
This is part of the theory of ‘Law of attraction’.
What this means is that whether we realize it or not, we are responsible for bringing both positive and negative influences into our lives. A key part of the Law of Attraction is understanding that where you place your focus can have an intense impact on what happens to you.
If you spend your days wallowing in regrets about the past or fears of the future, you’ll likely see more negativity appearing, but if you look for the silver lining in every experience then you’ll soon start to see positivity surrounding you every day.
Therefore, the Law of Attraction encourages you to see that you have the freedom to take control of how your future develops, shaping it in the ways you choose.
The best seller that is a ‘MUST READ’ is called The Secret (Extended Edition)
Choose how you wanna feel
When you know the way you think is negative, it becomes easy to control your feelings.
When it happens, ask yourself:
And you’ll realise there absolutely no reason to think this way because it brings NOTHING good !
Instead ask yourself questions like:
- What do I want?
- What would I rather be doing?
- How would I rather feel?
- How am I going to get my desired outcomes?
- What does my desired outcome mean to me?
- Once I get the desired outcome then what will this allow me to experience and to achieve?
- What if I was a totally different person?
That’s the way we decide to react to event that makes who we are. nothing else.
Don’t make a mountain of a small problem
It’s very easy to lose perspective, especially if you are stressed and you are going too fast.
Very often we see the problem bigger than it is. The funny thing is that, when the same problem happens to someone else, we always find solutions or good thoughts to bypass the issue. So, why can’t we do the same to ourself in any circumstance ?
A simple three step way to handle these situations so they don’t get out of hand is to:
- Say stop. In your mind, be conscious that you’re thinking the wrong way and STOP.
- Breathe. After you have disrupted the thoughts by shouting stop sit down and just be still. Breathe with your belly and focus on just your in-breaths and out-breaths for a minute or two to calm your mind and body down.
- Refocus. Question your mountain building thoughts by talking to someone close to you and getting a more grounded perspective on the situation by just venting or by getting his or her input. Or simply ask yourself this to widen your perspective and to chill out: Will this matter in 5 years? Or even 5 weeks?
Think of all the situation you’ve been through that seemed hopeless at the moment and now… it’s even hard to remember and even incredible that you worried for so little..!
And also… positive thinking means taking events the positive way so… whatever happens, what could be good with it ?
Add value and positivity to someone else’s life.
It costs nothing to be nice.
What you give to others and how you treat them is what you’ll get back. And they way you treat others and how you think of them also tend to have a big effect on how you treat and think about yourself.
So give value and spread the positivity by :
- Helping your friends or unknown people
- Just listening. Sometimes people don’t want any direct help. They just want someone to be there fully and listening as they vent for a little while.
- Boosting the mood. Smile. Give hugs when appropriate or encourage when someone has had a bad day or are going through a tough time.
Workout regularly, eat and sleep well.
But I know the big, big impact a good night’s sleep or good workout can have when my thoughts are pessimistic and I have a lot of tensions on the inside.
And I know how much simpler it is to think clearly and optimistically when my belly is not empty.
So I highly recommend being careful about these basic habits that may sound boring. Because they do have a huge effect either way depending on how you manage them.
Starting working out 3-4 times a week had a HUGE effect on my motivation, persistence and energy. I can’t do without now.
If you’re not into it yet, just start by trying this 7 minutes morning workout for a week. You’ll see the difference in your life when starting the day this way!
Forget you EGO and Learn to take criticism in a healthy way
One of the most common fears is the fear of criticism.
But if you want to take action on what you want then criticism is pretty much unavoidable. So the key is learning to handle it in a healthier way. By doing so, your fear of it will lessen and it will hurt less if you do get criticized.
- Don’t reply right away. When you are angry, upset or riled up then is time to calm down a bit before you reply. Take at least a couple of deep breaths or a little time to process the message before you respond.
- Really listen to the criticism. Try to remain open and level-headed and figure out how this message can help you. Ask yourself: Is there one thing I can learn from this criticism? Is there something here that I may not want to hear but could help me?
- Remember that the criticism isn’t always about you. Some criticism is helpful. Some is simply attacks or someone lashing out because they are having bad day, year or job. To lessen the sting of such criticism – often really angry or overly critical in an unconstructive way – I try to be understanding. I think to myself that this person might not be feeling so good at the moment.
- Reply or let go. No matter the content of for example an email I try to keep my reply level-headed and kind. I may add a question or two to get more specific feedback that is helpful. And if they don’t reply or I have simply gotten a nasty attack then it is time to delete it and to let that situation go.
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment helped me to open my eyes on so many things and to understand that I have to ‘let go’ to move forward and be happy in life ! I totally recommend this book to anyone you’ll see things through another angle that you’d never thought of.
I really hope this post helped you or brought you something good ! 🙂
Thanks a lot for reading and let me know what you feel about this in the comments or subscribe to my feed below !